So, we hear men’s coaches all the time talk about what a big deal neediness is for men in dating and relationships.
Even though they’ll go on and on about how to be ‘alpha’ and attractive, they rarely talk about what’s the big deal with neediness. (It hits a little closer to home than most of them will admit – easier just to talk about not being the creepy guy in the bar)
Guys, we’ve all been there. Relationships – especially trying to establish one – is tough, and sometimes the worst of us comes out.
When things get bad, they get bad, and when we focus on all the things we need, we get none of them.
- I need more respect!
- I need more trust!
- I need more attention!
- I need more affection!
- Dammit! I’ll go ahead and say it! I need more sex!
I’ve been there…
For years and years, I let everyone around me, especially my ex-wife, have complete control over my self-esteem. If she was happy with me, I was happy with me. If she wasn’t…
That was completely unfair on my part.
How can we expect a woman to place complete trust in us; to open mentally, spiritually, and physically, if we can’t even run our own private kingdom? What we’re saying is
“I can’t trust myself, so you run me and you at the same time.”
Nobody should have that kind of responsibility.
Because I’m a man!
Sometimes as men, we listen to a lot of the BS out there that says people owe us because we’re men. Feeling entitled to the some ‘automatic respect’ that we think all good men ‘should’ get, we act out when we do not get what we think we deserve. We’re scared we’re actually too flawed and too weak to get that respect, and it creates in us a fear-inspired rage. We think that being NOBLE is something that is owed us and that in being domineering we can force others to treat us like we want to be treated… the alternatives are that we either throw a tantrum like a two year old or sulk – yuk!
- “Because I said so! I’m the father!”
- “You should love me, you’re my wife!”
- “Give me some respect. I’m the boss!”
- “My way, or the highway!”
- “If it’s not too much trouble, could you maybe, you know, go out with me. Maybe. If you want to…”
Instead of being that NOBLE bad-ass man who EARNS respect, trust, and love, we become a tyrant, or worse yet, a needy little wimp – and we think that whining will get us what we want.
Tough words? Deal with it…
Every day I hear stories from the women in your life that are filled with fear, mistrust, sadness, and even disgust. They want to feel like they can believe in the men in their life. Their mind, bodies, and spirits are aching for that… They’re hurting, and we do nothing
but whine….
yell…
sulk…
What to do
Instead, here’s what is needed.
- You need to understand that your NOBILITY begins and ends with YOU.
- Only you can make yourself happy.
- Only you can live your life on purpose.
- Only you can set your vision.
- Only you can decide what is your truth.
If you give that responsibility to anyone else, you may not like the results.
Would you like some help with that?
Need a plan?
Need someone to kick you in the ass with unconditional brotherly love?
Message me.
Listen, there are four different basic kinds of men out there.
- One who doesn’t “get laid” ever, or at least with any consistently, and whines about it constantly. The needy/creepy one.
- Alone by choice – One who claims to be “above all that” and would rather spend a whole day shopping with a woman to keep her close rather than actually let her know he is attracted to her. You guessed it – Mr. Nice Guy
- The one who’s whole goal in life is getting “laid”, and does so by any means necessary. He creates destruction wherever he goes, and wonders why women mistrust men.
- The last one understands that there is way more to a relationship (and being who he needs to be in a relationship) than getting “laid”, and in fact would never use that word. He’s a man that runs his inner house and like a court courtesan he never hides his desire. He doesn’t have to. He’s the kind of guy that finds himself surrounded by women all the time.
Guess which one is happy…
Instead of being a man who goes after sex, respect, love and affection, be a man who receives respect, love, affection, and if the time/connection is there – sex – naturally. Here’s the thing: The key to him being happy is this…
He doesn’t need any of that to be happy…think about it. The men who have the most respect, success, and sex are those men that ‘need’ it the least to feel confident, happy, and whole.
Seriously, message me.
You got this.
Love Purposely,
Jason Bradberry
For more information and world-class intimacy tips, go to:
Yeah, I don’t think people realize that most of the ‘negative” traits we experience from men – everything from bullying to creepiness to apathy – is a fear reaction by those men. Even entitlement is based in fear for most men that express that. Is it any wonder that most men are conservative minded in regards to politics? It is a fear-based philosophy.